Oct. 16, 2010

I don't have any updates or news (good or bad) to update, I just wanted to clear my mind of a few things.

I keep having these reoccuring nightmares where my doctor sits me down in her cold office and the echo of the words "You have cancer" pierce my mind. I know I do not have cancer because it would have already come up, but its still a fear in my mind. I'm going through all the 'what ifs' and self doubts. I think this is a natural process. I hit rock bottom as far as the emotional roller coaster of not knowing anything. I broke down and cried ALOT last night. My husband tried his best to reassure me that things will get better with time and that we have almost too much to be grateful for. He's right! The fear of the unknown is starting to really get to me, I know, I know I shouldn't let it. I could go on and on as to why it has, but in all honesty, being at home seven days a week is catching up. Jon is looking to take a part time job unless this contracting gig picks up. We still need to get our DBA and TIN to get that ball rolling.

I'm remembering to love unconditionally, laughing hard, live life to the fullest, and to hug my husband and son every chance I get. That alone is what gets me through each and every day.

A few weekends ago we got together with my bestfriend Tina and her younger sister Lisa and her husband Andy at the pumpkin patch in Round Rock and took several family pictures.

Hayden finally decided to crash for a nap, so I'm using this "quiet mommy time" to blog and collect my thoughts and get them out of my mind.

I've also been contemplating opening my own bakery, a cupcake bakery. What do y'all think? It won't be for some time, as I do not finacially have a way to bring this dream into frutation, but someday, I'd love to go that route, be my own boss! :)